How do you process emotions when there is a lot to offload? I thought it might be helpful if I shared one of the tools I use as a therapist. This technique that helps me to offload and process the week involves expressive writing in a structured way.

Offloading strategies

We all have strategies, tools, and techniques that work for us and help us to decompress. These include playing sports, talking with friends, offloading to those close to us, watching a match, and engaging in mindful activities or hobbies that give us space and a different perspective. These can all help us when it comes to processing emotions.

Using Expressive Writing and The Morning Pages as methods for processing emotions

As a therapist, I often have much to offload and process on top of my other responsibilities. For over twenty years, I’ve been using a combination of Julia Cameron’s ‘The Morning Pages’ and James Pennebaker’s Expressive Writing technique. As good as the Morning Pages are, I have often struggled to fit them into my week. So, over the past four years, I have been trialling different writing days, times, and lengths to see what works best for me.

How long should we write for?

In February this year (2024), Professor James Pennebaker, the founder of the Expressive Writing technique, held a training course for CBT Therapists. One of the things that stood out to me, as one of the participants in that course, was what he said about the duration of writing. He shared how his research had shown that this technique could still work even with very short periods of writing, even five to eight minutes! Hearing him say this validated what I had found when using the method. My duration at that point was eight minutes of writing. But after Professor Pennebaker’s session, I began trialling a double writing session method where I wrote for seven minutes, paused, and then wrote for another seven minutes. The first section was for offloading, and the second was for processing what had been written.

Why a second period of expressive writing?

Professor Pennebaker stated that his research had found that if people only used expressive writing to offload or to ‘brain dump’, this wasn’t always as helpful as if they then went on to process what they had offloaded. What this means in practice is that you could just brain dump onto the page, as Julia Cameron asks us to do in the morning pages, but it is only when you go deeper and reflect on what you have written that the benefit of this practice emerges. For example, you might notice patterns or habits of behaviour. You might notice that a similar issue has happened before. You might discover insights that were not obvious before. In this space, you can then think about what you would want to do next if there was something you wanted to change.

The importance of processing

This ‘processing’ is where the magic can happen. It can provide fresh insights, offer a new perspective on an issue, and perhaps give a deeper understanding of how or why we feel the way we do about something. It could also lead us towards integrating something which had been hard to grapple with previously, or it can lead us towards compassion and acceptance for ourselves. I believe that this processing is why Julia Cameron asks us to write three pages long-hand in the morning pages. She wants us to go beyond the surface of an issue. When I use the morning pages, I find there to be two parts to the process. There is an initial ‘dumping’ or offloading section, and then, around halfway through, just after the point at which I have to push myself to keep writing because it can feel like I have come to a dead end, I seem to write down to a deeper level. This is where I find the gold. The nuggets of insight, clues as to what I was really bothered about, patterns that I hadn’t noticed before.

This brings me to the method I find works best for me. It isn’t the only way. You might want to experiment, as Professor Pennebaker encourages us to do. He has stated that no one time period works for everyone when it comes to expressive writing. You have to find what works for you, but this is my preferred method of offloading and processing, using expressive writing.

Chart feelings

First, I get a baseline for what I am feeling. I draw a circle, then a line through the circle, from top to bottom, and then a line from left to right. See below:

At the top, write Hyper; at the bottom, write Flat. On the left, write Pleasant, and far right, unpleasant.  You could fill in the feelings in the circle. For example, flat and unpleasant would be depression, and hyper and unpleasant would be panic or anger. Pleasant and hyper could be excited. Flat and pleasant would be calmness. There are the extremes at each end of the line and in between are the more subtle feelings.

Before my writing session, I put a number 1 somewhere in the circle for how I feel now. In this example, I felt a bit flat and unhappy (I’d had three things happen that made me feel loss, disappointment and rejection).

Set the timer

Then, I set my timer for 7 minutes.

Write for 7 Minutes

I write for 7 minutes about what is present for me right now or whatever comes up when I think about the past week. I find this technique helpful on Sunday to help with that Monday feeling.

It is important to keep it recent. This is about offloading and processing what the mind is currently managing. It isn’t therapy. It is a short-term offloading and processing technique. *

I keep writing with whatever is on my mind, even if it seems irrelevant or I don’t know how I feel about it. I also notice any sensations in my body and include them in my writing. I note down thoughts that I am having. I try not to judge myself, but if I do have judging thoughts, I write these down, too. Sometimes, I need to remind myself to be a bit kinder if I am being too self-critical. 

Remember, this writing is not to be shared. It does not have to be grammatically correct or have a perfect structure.

Pause and Write for another 7 Minutes

When the time is up, I pause and breathe. Then, I set the timer for 7 minutes and write again.

This time, I reflect on what I have offloaded. I write what comes up for me about this. I write about whether I notice any patterns or habits or whether I have felt this way before. I notice if I have any thinking patterns like all-or-nothing thinking or mind reading – which is thinking that I know what other people think about me. I notice what feelings the issue is bringing up and reflect on why that might be. If I am being hard on myself, I might ask myself, “What would a compassionate and supportive friend say if they were in that situation?”

If I have nothing to write about in this second 7-minute session, I might move on to another issue from the previous week. Or I might start planning out what I want to do or change based on any insights that have come up.

Then, I go back to my feelings circle and chart where I am in the circle after the writing. I notice if I feel a bit more or less activated and where the feeling is on the line between pleasant and unpleasant. I put a ‘2’ here, but you could use dots like in the images below. I created these graphics in Canva. This circle of feelings model is a representation of the affective circumplex model by Posner et al (2005).

If I feel like I am still in the middle of processing at the end of the second 7-minute session, I might set a timer for another 7 minutes.

That’s it. That is my weekly process. Have a try to see if you find it helpful.

There is a large body of research into expressive writing as a technique, but as Professor Pennebaker points out, it doesn’t work for everyone. It can, however, be helpful for some of us. Professor Matthew Lieberman has also done a large body of work on ’emotion labelling’. He has found that it can be therapeutic to put our feelings into words and that labelling our emotions can activate the parts of our brain that help us to objectify but also integrate and process these feelings.

CBT-Enhanced Expressive Writing Course

If you would like to learn more about expressive writing, and be guided through how to use this as well as learn some powerful CBT strategies for managing emotions. Have a look at my online self-paced course.

CBT-Enhanced Expressive Writing Course

A Powerful blend of expressive writing, CBT tools and therapeutic sound to process emotions.

Master your emotions and unlock the healing power of writing.

This unique course combines the transformative practice of expressive writing with proven Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques and the soothing benefits of therapeutic sound.

Designed to help you process difficult emotions, manage day-to-day feelings, and build emotional resilience, this course provides practical tools and guidance for your personal growth and well-being.

What You’ll Learn:

• The art of expressive writing: Discover how to write about challenging and traumatic experiences in a way that promotes emotional release and healing.  
• CBT tools for emotional management: Learn strategies to process and regulate the feelings that arise during writing.
• A four-part module on writing about traumatic events
• Everyday emotional resilience: Gain skills to manage your day-to-day emotions using expressive writing as a therapeutic outlet.  
• The power of sound for healing: Experience how music and sound can deepen your emotional processing and enhance your writing practice.   

OVERVIEW:

• 29 Videos
• 50-page Course Book & Extra Worksheets/Handouts
• Access to my Expressive Writing Community for advice, info, support, sharing and community.

CONTENT:

• Expressive writing history and practice
• Expressive writing, diary writing and free writing
• Expressive writing and The Morning Pages
• Writing practices
• Managing & Processing Emotions
• Interoceptive awareness: a new way of managing how we feel
• The Hot Cross Bun and how to unpack and process how you feel
• How to write about traumatic events
• Constructing a Personal Processing Plan
• Adding music to our expressive writing practice
• Binaural sound
• Bilateral Sound
• General therapeutic sounds & playlists

Why This Course Matters:

Transform how you process emotions and overcome patterns that are keeping you stuck.

Feel empowered to take control of managing the feelings you may have following traumatic or difficult experiences.

It offers you an alternative to talking about your feelings, for times when we find speaking difficult.

*A note about traumatic experiences

If something traumatic happened over the past week, it is important not to overwhelm your brain by trying to process it too soon. In this case, you would only write about how you feel in this moment. For example, the things you need to do today, things that might be niggling you, who you could speak to for support. What things might comfort you now? Where and who would be the best people to be with to feel safe, calm, and supported? This is what your system will need now, rather than rushing to process the trauma.

A quick breathing exercise. Try this now:

Try it now. Check in with your body. What posture are you hold- ing? What position is your spine in? Is it slumped, or twisting to the side? Imagine straightening it a little bit, and actually let your spine move to where it wants to. Then notice your stomach: are you holding it in? Let it go, let it flop out. Adjust yourself if you notice any twists or tenseness anywhere else. Take a big breath in and let it flop out like a big sigh. Now, do a scan to see what sensations you notice. Is there a tingly feeling, or any niggles or pains anywhere? Just notice them and see what happens as you observe them, with curiosity and without judgement.

Take a breath in and slowly breathe out, trying to make that out- breath last for a count of six. Do this again, then once more, and now take a big breath in and let it flop out like a big sigh.

FINE-TUNING OUR EMOTIONAL AWARENESS: EMOTION- FOCUSED INTEROCEPTIVE AWARENESS

We have just practised noticing what was happening in our bodies and aimed to observe without judgement. Now I’d like to ask you to notice your bodily sensations the next time you notice an emotion. I’m going to call this emotion-focused interoceptive awareness, because it involves noticing this felt sense as part of your emotional state. Whether you are feeling angry, frustrated, worried, tired, sad or disgusted, try to turn your attention to what your body is actually doing, inside and out. It can be hard. I know, because I’ve trained myself to do this and it took me a while. Either I didn’t notice anything or I was taken over by an emotion and forgot what to do. It takes practice to develop a new pattern, but we can do this.

RELIABILITY AND VALIDITY

Questionnaires that you complete yourself (rather than ones that a therapist/ clinician would complete) are also called self-report measures. It takes time to develop a measure to ensure that it shows two main things: reliability and validity. Reliability is when the measure is shown to be assessing the same aspect or behaviour at different points in time – in other words, how consistent it is. Validity is ensured when it has been found to measure that particular aspect or behaviour, and not something else. Validity is further refined by assessing whether it appears to measure what it is meant to (face validity), is measuring that particular feature and nothing else (construct validity) and shows that it can predict the feature being measured (predic- tive). These areas are all important in giving you a final score that you can feel is actually measuring what it is meant to measure. There are lots of fun questionnaires available on the internet, but they may not be able to claim they have this validity and reliability, so you cannot always be sure the score is a true reflection of what the questionnaire is meant to be assessing. For example, a question on a measure about depression could ask, ‘Are you irritable and anxious a lot?’ This question might seem to be measur- ing a feeling when can have when we feel low or grumpy (face validity). However, feeling irritable and anxious are aspects of generalized anxiety and also some hyper-arousal states following traumatic experiences, so it wouldn’t be a question that would show construct validity for a question- naire that only wanted to assess depression. There would need to be more work to include something like that; perhaps a part of the measure would have space for more agitated aspects of depression. But I hope you can see that when you take a test or measure, the score that you receive at the end has to be meaningful. You have to have confidence that the test is measuring what it should be.

The next time you take one of those fun tests on social media, ask yourself: is this question measuring what it thinks it is measuring, or could there be another reason for this aspect or behaviour?

With all of this in mind I have tried to include links to measures that have been researched and show reliability and validity. The way that you can tell this for yourself is by checking the questionnaire or site for information about where the measure came from and/or who developed the measure. The page on the patient.info site that offers the PHQ9 is an excellent example here. Have a look here at the credits at the end of the questionnaire: patient.info/doctor/patient-health-questionnaire-phq-9.

CAN A QUESTIONNAIRE GIVE ME A DIAGNOSIS?

It is important to note that questionnaires such as the Anxiety and Depression test on the NHS website cannot give you a diagnosis or tell you why you are feeling the way that you do. However, if you do find that you are scoring in the moderate to severe range and this either continues for more than two weeks or is a repeating pattern for you, it would be important to contact your doctor and/or arrange an appointment with a therapist to talk through what is happening for you. Two people can both score in the severe range on the PHQ9 and the GAD7 for example, but one person may be struggling with the effects of trauma whilst another may be struggling with OCD. Both can be reasons for high scores on anxiety and significant difficulties with low mood.

LIST OF SELF-REPORT MEASURES

ACES (ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES) AND RESILIENCE SCORE

acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score

www.threerivers.gov.uk/egcl-page/adverse-childhood-experiences-aces

ANXIETY –NHS IAPT SELF-REPORT MEASURES

Generalised-anxiety-disorder-assessment

AUTISM AND ADHD/ADD

The ADDitude website has several self-tests for ASD, ADD and ADHD as well as other tests that may be relevant. It is a great site for information and support from a friendly and informal perspective.

Note: The self-tests on this site are for screening and information rather than to confirm a diagnosis.

www.additudemag.com/download/autism-in-adults/?src=test

Note: The self-tests on this site are for screening and information rather than to confirm a diagnosis.

COMPASSION AND CRITICISM

goodmedicine.org.uk/goodknowledge/compassion-criticism 

or Kristin Neff’s site here

Kristin Neff’s site

– 

DEPRESSION

NHS IAPT self-report measures

patient.info/doctor/patient-health-questionnaire-phq-9

EMOTIONS

Emotional intelligence test

Several different emotional intelligence tests

Emotion beliefs questionnaire

Questionnaire_EBQ_Copy_of_questionnaire_and_scoring_instructions

FINDING THE RIGHT THERAPIST FOR YOU

Esther Perel

GENERAL SELF-ASSESSMENT TESTS FOR ANXIETY, MOOD, SLEEP

Good Thinking, a digital mental health initiative for London, supported by the NHS

– www.good-thinking.uk/self-assessments

HEALTH ANXIETY

Dr James Hawkins’ site has a comprehensive list of this and many other tests. Take a look here.

goodmedicine.org.uk/stressedtozest/2008/12/ handouts-questionnaires-health-anxiety-disorder

HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON SCALE (HSP)

Also called Sensory Processing Sensitivity, the HSP scale has been devel- oped by Elaine Aron, who has worked hard to ensure this construct is researched and shows validity and reliability. On Aron’s website there is a test for HSP in adults, as well as one for children, and a high-sensation- seeking test.

Highly sensitive person test

MIND PLAN QUIZ – YOUR MIND MATTERS

NEURODIVERSITY APP AND PROFILER

The app on this website gives you a ‘spiky profile’ result for neurodivergent aspects such as dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD, ADD and ASD.

OCD – OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER

I am linking to Dr James Hawkins’s page again here, as he has added the OCI (Obsessive Compulsive Inventory) in MS Word form with the sub-scales tagged to help you. He also includes the shortened form of this measure. The OCD scales are underneath the Panic info on this page. goodmedicine.org.uk/goodknowledge/

panic-ocd-depersonalization-information-assessment

PANIC

goodmedicine.org.uk/goodknowledge/panic-ocd-depersonalization- information-assessment

PERSONALITY

The Big Five – bigfive-test.com openpsychometrics.org/tests/IPIP-BFFM/

POSTNATAL DEPRESSION

patient.info/news-and-features/quiz-do-i-have-postnatal-depression

SOCIAL ANXIETY

psychology-tools.com/test/spin goodmedicine.org.uk/goodknowledge/social-anxiety-information- assessment

TRAUMA AND PTSD

There’s some detailed info on Dr James Hawkins’s page that will signpost you to some really helpful information about trauma goodmedicine.org.uk/goodknowledge/

ptsd-assessment-images-memories-information

The two most used self-report measures in UK therapy services are the IES-R and the PCL-5.

PCL-5: This pdf is from Lancashire’s Traumatic Stress service. It

includes a scoring key to help you assess whether your score is mild/ moderate/severe in accordance with the criteria in the DSM5. www.lscft.nhs.uk/media/Publications/Traumatic-Stress-Service/newPCL5.pdf

IES-R: This questionnaire is in both Word and PDF format on the

GoodMedicine website (it is towards the bottom of the page), along with a scoring key. The IES-R has sub-scales for ‘avoidance’, ‘intrusions’, and ‘hyperarousal’ – all key parts of PTSD. goodmedicine.org.uk/goodknowledge/ptsd-assessment-images- memories-information

• 
  Self-defectiveness
  
• 
  Responsibility
  
• 
  Control and Choice
  
• 
  Safety and Vulnerability
  

Self-defectiveness
(there’s something wrong with me)

One of the things I’d like to point out about these core beliefs, and perhaps you have noticed this, is that the ones on the left are like absolute labels. Statements of fact and very all or nothing. This is because the brain likes to categorize, and usually these are developed in times of high emotion or when we are quite young – both of these are times when we will not be thinking in shades of grey or in abstract terms. As a result, we develop these quick ways to label ourselves, and they can be there for many years undetected and unchallenged.

Notice how the alternatives are less global labels, and more accepting of the shades of grey in a situation, and within us.

Do any of these core beliefs resonate with you at all? Did you notice a slight flinching or movement in your body, or did you look twice at one or two of them? Do you use any of these labels at all? It maybe that you have been using them without realizing the effect they can have on you. If you did identify with any of them, I want to let you know that you can re-evaluate them. This is where therapy can be helpful, in showing you how to change patterns like these, but the first step is to know what your patterns are and that it is possible to change.

The next time you find yourself rushing to negative labels that make you feel bad, such as ‘I’m just not good enough to do this’ or ‘I can’t cope’, pause and try your hardest to look for some shades of grey, don’t just believe the absolute label straight away.

CRISIS SUPPORT

If you are in the UK and are feeling suicidal right now, call 116123, or if you are under 19 call 0800 11 11.

If you are outside the UK click on these links for global and international helplines:

Suicide.org – International Suicide Hotlines

USA: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and https://988lifeline.org

WhatsApp – Global Suicide Hotline Resources

Your Life Counts

HELPLINES

Alcoholics Anonymous or Phone: 0800 9177 650

Alcohol Change UK (Drinkline)

Anxiety UK or Phone: 03444 775 774 or email: support@anxietyuk.org.uk

At a Loss (support for the bereaved)

Breathing Space, Scotland or Phone: 0800 83 85 87

Bullying UK

C.A.L.L. Mental health helpline for Wales

www.callhelpline.org.uk

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)

www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/ Call: 0800 585858

Childline

www.childline.org.uk Call: 0800 1111

CRUSE Bereavement care

www.cruse.org.uk Call: 0808 808 1677

Domestic Abuse

Mankind – www.mankind.org.uk Respect – mensadviceline.org.ukRefuge – www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk Call: 0808 2000 247

Drinkaware support services list

www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice/support-services/alcohol-support-services

Emergency Service workers – PTSD999

www.ptsd999.org.uk/about/how-to-get-help

Call: 01223 755 130, email: support@ptsd999.org.uk or text: 07778 485 528

Family Lives (Previously Parentline)

www.familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline

Family Rights Group

www.frg.org.uk

Farming Community Network

fcn.org.uk/help-health-issues/ or call: 03000 111 999

Galop (Helpline for LGBT+ people who have experienced hate crime or abuse) – www.galop.org.uk/how-we-can-help/

Call: 0800 999 5428 or email: help@galop.org.uk

GamCare (helpline for problem gambling)

www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now Call: 0808 8020 133

LGBT Foundation

lgbt.foundation/coronavirus/wellbeing Call: 0345 3 30 30 30

LGBT Health Scotlandwww.lgbthealth.org.uk Call: 0300 123 2523

Marijuana Anonymous

www.marijuana-anonymous.org.uk Call: 0300 124 0373

MEIC (helpline service for children and young people up to the age of 25 in Wales)

www.meiccymru.org

Call: 0808 80 23456 or text: 84001

Mental Health Matters helplines

www.mhm.org.uk/helpline-webchat

Mermaids UK (support for trans and gender-diverse children and their families)

mermaidsuk.org.uk/about-us Call: 0808 801 0400

MIND

Crisis planning – www.mind.org.uk/information-support/ guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/

List of helplines – www.mind.org.uk/information-support/ guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/

helplines-listening-services/

Mindline Trans+

mindlinetrans.org.uk Call: 0300 330 5468

MindOut (online support for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer people)

www.mindout.org.uk/get-support/mindout-online/

Muslim Youth Helpline

www.myh.org.uk/helpline

Call: 0808 808 2008 or live chat on website

Narcotics Anonymous

ukna.org

Call: 0300 999 1212

OCD Action

ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/helpline/ Call: 0845 390 6232

Papyrus (charity dedicated to preventing suicide of young people)

www.papyrus-uk.org/hopelineuk Call: 0800 068 4141

Panic

nopanic.org.uk/the-no-panic-helpline Call: 0300 772 9844

Rural Support (Northern Ireland)

www.ruralsupport.org.uk/how-we-can-help/helpline/ Call: 0800 138 1678

SAMARITANS

www.samaritans.org

Call: 116123 (in UK) or email: jo@samaritans.org

SANDS (helpline for anyone affected by the death of a baby)

www.sands.org.uk

Call: 0808 164 3332 or email: helpline@sands.org.uk

Saneline

www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/

Self-Injury Support for women and girls

www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk

Call: 0808 800 8088 text: 07537 432444 or email: tessmail@selfinjury- support.org.uk

SHOUT – www.giveusashout.org Text SHOUT to 85258

The Silverline (for people over 55 years old)

www.thesilverline.org.uk/helpline Call: 0800 4 70 80 90

Support Line (a helpline and support service aimed at those who are isolated, at risk, vulnerable and victims of any form of abuse)

www.supportline.org.uk

Call: 01708 765200 or email: info@supportline.org.uk

Survivors of bereavement by suicide (SOBS)

uksobs.org

The Survivors Trust (for people who have suffered sexual abuse)

www.thesurvivorstrust.org Call: 0808 8 010818

Switchboard LGBT

switchboard.lgbt/about-us Call: 0300 330 0630

Winston’s Wish (support for grieving children)

www.winstonswish.org Call: 0808 8 020 021

Young Minds

youngminds.org.uk/find-help/get-urgent-help/ Text: YM to 85258 for crisis support

Your Life Counts (global support line)

yourlifecounts.org

SAFETY PLAN

After you have spoken with someone on the helpline, make your own safety/crisis plan to support you. There are some great templates on the following websites:

getselfhelp.co.uk/suicidal.htm

www.stayingsafe.net/home

Note to those supporting friends and family members who are feeling suicidal: you do not have to fix the problem. It is OK to let the person feel what they are feeling, even though it can be heart-breaking to see them struggling and you will want to take this feeling away from them. Let them talk. It is OK to just ‘be’ with them. Too often we feel so anxious about not being able to solve the problem that this makes it hard for us to be with someone when they are upset.

When I say ‘pay attention to how you feel’, what I mean by this is noticing not only what goes through your mind, but also what is going on physically in your body. If you get a gripping sensation in your gut, this is a feeling, if you feel your breath getting faster and quicker as you say something to someone, this is a feeling. The thoughts that go through your mind as you have these sensations are part of the feeling too. A feeling does not have to be an intangible concept. Feelings are thoughts going through your mind, and sensations, impulses and movements in your body. If you start to notice these, you will get to know where you tend to ‘feel’ certain emotions. For example, when I feel nervous, I feel this straight away in my lower gut. It’s a ‘wrenching’ feeling.

Have a go right now. Do a quick body scan and check if you are hold- ing any tension anywhere. Are you biting your inner lip, or clenching your toes, or holding tension anywhere else? Take a big breath and let it flop out as you release tension.

The next time you notice you feel on edge, stressed, tense, anxious or frustrated, scan your body to see what you notice. Whereabouts is this ‘on-edgeness’? Is it in your gut? Your head? Are you clenching your jaw? What words would you use to describe how you feel right now?

It can be difficult to put words to a feeling. One of the reasons for this is because we are trying to use a different part of our brain to ‘describe’ what we are experiencing. But this can be helpful in giving us a little bit of distance and a space within which to choose what to do next. If we practise this, we can get much better at not letting emotions blindside us. Have a look at the list of emotion words below. Instead of using the word ‘anxious’, could there be another word you could use? Maybe ‘appre- hensive’, ‘doubtful’, ‘unsure’? Add your own words to the list if you’ve found one that isn’t on there. This is part of our emotional literacy, and I know I wasn’t taught to do this when I was younger. It’s important that we can describe and manage how we feel, that we know what emotions are, how to recognize them within ourselves and how to talk to others about what we feel.

So let’s have a go. I’d love to ask if we could create more words for emotions together. I’m going to start a list here and would like to invite your words too. You will have had experiences that differ from mine, so I do not have the monopoly here.

Next time you notice yourself feeling something, be it sad, thoughtful, unsure, worried, angry, embarrassed, I’d like to ask you to notice where you feel this physically in your body, and then find a word on the list to describe the feeling or put your own word to it. The more that you do this the more you will be identifying the subtleties in your own feelings. This gives you more mastery over what you feel.

AFRAID

Explanation: feeling fearful and apprehensive
Alternatives: Alarmed, anxious, apprehensive, fearful, frightened, intimidated, nervous, panicky, petrified, scared, shaken, startled

ANGRY

Explanation: feeling and/or expressing fury or annoyance 
Alternatives: annoyed, cross, enraged, exasperated, furious, incensed, indignant, irate, hacked off, heated, mad, outraged, provoked, raging, ranting, raving, riled, vexed

CALM

Explanation: being at peace, still and relaxed
Alternatives: at peace, relaxed, serene, settled, soothed, tranquil, untroubled

CONNECTED

Explanation: feeling part of something, feeling like you belong (an important feeling for our nervous system)
Alternatives: affiliated, associated, engaged, kindred, linked, related, tied, connected, loved, belonging

DISGUSTED

Explanation: feeling sickened or turned off
Alternatives: appalled, nauseated, repelled, repulsed, sickened, turning away from

ENTHUSIASTIC

Explanation: feeling interested and willing
Alternatives: avid, committed, desirous, devoted, eager, ebullient, excited, fervid, keen, passionate

EXCITED

Explanation: thrilled and ready for action
Alternatives: animated, aroused, enthusiastic, expectant, high, moved, roused, stirred, stimulated, wild, yearning

FLAT

Explanation: without expression, feeling in limbo
Alternatives: empty, depressed, dispirited, downhearted, drained, numb, shocked, tired, weak, weary, without energy, worn out

FRUSTRATED

Explanation: being held back, prevented from doing something or your expectations remaining unfulfilled
Alternatives: disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, irked

INSPIRE

Explanation: to fill with energy, to make something seem possible 
Alternatives: encourage, energize, galvanize, influence, infuse, motivate, persuade, stimulate

IRRITATED

Explanation: not feeling able to rest, being on edge, snappy 
Alternatives: agitated, crabby, disagreeable, flustered, fractious, grumpy, hassled, impatient, miffed, nettled, tetchy, peeved

LONELY

Explanation: feeling like you can’t connect to others
Alternatives: abandoned, alone, companionless, estranged, forlorn, friendless, isolated, outcast, solitary

RELIEVED

Explanation: a feeling of being able to release yourself from tension 
Alternatives: cheered, comforted, glad, grateful, happy, pleased, reas- sured, thankful

SAD

Explanation: feeling the loss or absence of something or someone 
Alternatives: blue, depressed, down, empty, gloomy, glum, grieving, low, melancholy, mournful, pensive, sombre, tearful, unhappy, wistful

SAFE

Explanation: believing that you are protected from danger in that moment (very important for a healthy nervous system to notice when you feel safe) 
Alternatives: impregnable, out of danger, protected, safe and sound, secure, comforted, soothed

SURPRISED

Explanation: taken aback by something unexpected
Alternatives: astonished, astounded, baffled, bewildered, confused, confused, dismayed, embarrassed, fazed, flummoxed, mystified, perplexed, puzzled, stumped, stunned

SUPPORTED

Explanation: feeling like you have the help that you need (something to do for ourselves, as well as for others)
Alternatives: advocate, aid, assist, boost, champion, defend, encourage, help, hold, promote, stand up for, stick up for

UPSET

Explanation: an unpleasant mix of feelings
Alternatives: agitated, choked, confused, disconcerted, dismayed, dis- tressed, disturbed, distraught, distressed, gutted, hassled, hurt, overwrought, ruffled, shaken, tormented, troubled, unhappy, wrenched

WORRIED

Explanation: thinking about what might go wrong and feeling anxious as a result
Alternatives: anxious, apprehensive, avoidant, bothered, concerned, distracted, disturbed, fretful, hesitant, jittery, nervous, on-edge, perturbed, restless, shaken, suspicious, tense, troubled, twitchy, uneasy

ALPHABETICAL LIST OF PSYCHOLOGICAL THERAPIES

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – contextualscience.org

ACT is known as a ‘third-wave’ CBT approach, but it differs from CBT in a few ways. One of the main differences is that instead of challenging thoughts and getting tangled up looking for the evidence against a negative thought, an ACT approach would be to accept the thought and ‘lean in’ to the experience, rather than push against it and avoid. Mindfulness, compassion and acceptance are important aspects of an ACT approach.

Accelerated Empathic Therapy – (AET) – iedta.net/edt/about-edt/types-of-edt/aet

Developed by Michael Alpert, AET is similar to focusing-oriented techniques in that it is an approach to recognizing and tuning into what our body is doing when we feel certain emotions.

Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) – https://www.aedpuk.com

AEDP was developed by Dr Diana Fosha and is an experiential therapy (meaning it doesn’t only rely on talking but ‘experiencing’). It aims to blend a focus on experiencing emotions within the context of a healing relationship in order to bring about change. AEDP is an approach that takes into account contemporary research into interpersonal neurobiology, attachment, neuroplasticity and affective neuroscience. AEDP therapists have to be registered/accredited in a core mental health profession prior to training. 

Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) – acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/what-is-art/

ART was developed by Laney Rosenzweig, a marriage and family therapist. It is a blend of EMDR, CBT, Gestalt and Brief Psychodynamicbrief psychodynamic therapy. It aims to help clients rapidly reprogramme trauma memories.

Advanced Integrative therapy (AIT) – https://www.ait-uk-europe.com/about-ait

Developed by Princeton professor and psychotherapist Asha Clinton, AIT is an integration of psychodynamic, CBT, object relations, energy psychology, Jungian and transpersonal theories. It is a trauma-focused approach to unblocking and healing the energy of the body and mind.

Adlerian therapy – https://www.adleriansociety.co.uk

Developed by Alfred Adler, one of the ‘big three’ fathers of psychotherapy alongside Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. Adler termed his approach ‘Individual Psychology’.individual psychology’. The Adlerian approach aims to blend the study of the individual with their wider societal context. 

Affect Phobia Therapy (APT) – https://www.affectphobiatherapy.com

Affect phobia therapy was developed by the Ppsychologist Leigh McCullocugh in the 1990s. It is a variant of psychodynamic psychotherapy that now integrates elements of short-term dynamic therapy, CBT and experiential therapies. It focuses on the fear of feelings as a central aspect of many psychological difficulties. Similar to AEDP, APT-Ccertified therapists have to be registered/accredited with a recognized body prior to training.

Attachment-Based Therapy – thebowlbycentre.org.uk

This is an approach that involves understanding an individual’s early relationships with caregivers and how these influence the person’s subsequent relationships. It is based on psychoanalytic theory.

Attachment-Based Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (AB-ISTDP) – iedta.net/edt/about-edt/types-of-edt/ab-istdp

ABISTDPAB-ISTDP uses neurobiological findings in combination with an attuned therapeutic relationship to help clients with developmental and attachment-based traumatic experiences.

Behavioural Activation (BA) – babcp.com

Behavioural Activation is a technique within CBT that is usually used for depression. It focuses on helping to get motivation back again by utilizing actions that help to activate feelings of reward, achievement and pleasure.

Bereavement counselling – https://www.cruse.org.uk

Grief is a process that is natural although it can involve stages which are painful to move through, especially when we lose a loved one and find ourselves alone. A bereavement counsellor can provide support for you through this difficult time.

Body Psychotherapies – eabp.org and ismeta.org

There are a wide range of body psychotherapies, and the term is also being used for those therapies that aim to integrate current findings in neurobiology and integrate brain-mind-body into an integrated psychotherapy. In Body Psychotherapybody psychotherapy and Somatic Psychologysomatic psychology, the brain-mind-body are seen as integral and not separate. The focus is not only on talking and language but also on what information is stored in your body and how your body is part of the expression of yourself and your feelings. This is a list of some of the therapies that tend to come under this heading:

Bioenergetic Analysis – https://www.bioenergeticanalysis.net/whatisbaeng.html

Biosynthesis – https://www.europsyche.org/approaches/biosynthesis

Bodynamic – Somatic Developmental Psychology – https://www.bodynamic.com

Chiron Integral-Relational – https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/chiron-association-for-body-psychotherapists

Embodied-Relational Therapy – erthworks.co.uk

Energetic integration – energypsychotherapyworks.co.uk/practitioners and https://www.fieh.co.uk

Hakomi – hakomiinstitute.com

Integrative Body Psychotherapy – ibmt.co.uk

Interplay – https://www.interplay.org

Lifespan Integration – lifespanintegration.com

Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor / Psychomotor therapy – pbsp.com

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy – sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org/about/#what-is-sp

Somatic Experiencing (SE) – https://www.seauk.org.uk

Somatic Stress Release Technique – https://www.drscottlyons.com/somatic-stress-release

Total Release Experience (TRE) – treuk.com

Trauma Relief Unlimited (TRU) – traumareliefunlimited.com

Brainspotting – https://www.bspuk.co.uk

Brainspotting therapy was developed by David Grand PhD in 2003. David had trained in Somatic Experiencing and EMDR and had blended these two therapies into a technique which he called ‘Natural Flow EMDR’. He then developed this further into ‘Bbrainspotting’. It is an approach that uses the key role of a healing relationship between client and therapist (called the ‘dual-attunement framework’), in association with the processing of traumatic material whilst ‘holding’ a specific spot in the client’s visual field. Brainspotting uses various eye positions or ‘gaze spots’ either when processing distressing material or for strengthening places in the body where clients feel calm and safe. Brainspotting therapists have to have core mental health training prior to being certified in this technique.

Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) – https://www.acat.me.uk

Developed in the 1980s by Dr Anthony Ryle, CAT is an approach that integrates elements of psychodynamic therapy, attachment therapy and CBT. It is a time-limited approach that is also available in many NHS services.

Cognitive Behavioural Analysis System of Psychotherapy (CBASP) – https://www.cbaspsociety.org

CBASP is a therapy that is used with chronically depressed clients. It blends elements of CBT with interpersonal and dynamic therapy. Through an in-depth situational analysis of a problem the therapy aims to show how our behaviour can create the problems we then experience.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – babcp.com

CBT incorporates a range of behavioural and cognitive therapies that share the principle that how we feel, what we think and what we do are related and that we can change how we feel by altering how we think and what we do. It is a psychotherapy that has gathered a large amount of evidence and has been adapted for brief and short-term interventions as well as for online and self-help interventions. In CBT an issue is broken down into its elements in order to assess what is driving the problem and maintaining it. Different strategies are then used to make changes and alter either thought patterns or behaviour patterns. There are a range of protocols that have been developed in CBT for various difficulties, such as David Clark’s Panic Disorder Protocol.

If you are looking for a CBT therapist, do look for either BABCP accreditation or Chartered Psychologistchartered psychologist status. If not then do check they are accredited or registered with a psychotherapy body that is recognized or are a Chartered Psychologist. The standard CBT qualification is a Postgraduate Diploma in CBT or an MSc in CBT. On these university courses there is a mixture of theory work, practical and supervised client work, placements, observed live sessions and regular clinical supervision. Home study and short distance-learning courses cannot provide the depth of training needed to qualify someone as a therapist. Check through the person’s listing and see what qualifications they state.

Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) – cptforptsd.com

CPT is a form of trauma-focused CBT that is used for PTSD. It focuses on the meaning of the traumatic event and offers techniques for processing and altering this negative meaning that is keeping people stuck. Those who use CPT will already be practising/registered therapists who go on to take this extra training for their trauma work.

Coherence Therapy – https://www.coherencetherapy.org/discover/what.htm

Coherence therapy (previously called ‘depth-oriented brief therapy’) was developed in the 1990s by Bruce Ecker and Laurel Hulley. The overarching principle of this approach is that rather than signalling pathology, the memories, thoughts, feelings and behaviours that we experience have a ‘coherence’ and are there for a reason. Therapy involves the bringing into awareness of patterns and expressions, in the context of an empathic and attuned therapeutic relationship.

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) –
https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk

CFT was developed as a theory and approach to therapy by Professor Paul Gilbert, OBE. It blends elements of evolutionary psychology with CBT and neuroscience. CFT works with three systems: the drive and achievement system, the social engagement system and the threat system, with the aim of gaining a balance and regulating emotional disturbance. 

Comprehensive Resource Model (CRM) – comprehensiveresourcemodel.com

Created by Lisa Schwarz, CRM was initially developed for clients suffering with chronic PTSD, attachment disorders and dissociative disorders, but it is being more widely used with other difficulties. It is an approach that blends elements of neurobiology with relational and somatic work and spirituality.

Contemplative Psychotherapy &and Core Process Psychotherapy – https://www.acpponline.net

These psychotherapies blend an understanding of Western psychology with Buddhist philosophy to understand how to access our core state of openness and joy.

Couples Therapy – tavistockandportman.nhs.uk/care-and-treatment/treatments/working-with-couples/

There are many different approaches to couples therapy, such as Collaborative Couples therapy (CCT) and Discernment & Divorce Counselling.

Behavioural Couples Therapy – tavistockrelationships.ac.uk/iapt-couple-training

Encounter-Centred Transformation – hedyschleifer.com/

The Gottman Method – https://www.gottman.com/

Imago Therapy – imagorelationships.org/

Relationship Enhancement Therapy – nire.org/research-on-relationship-enhancement-and-filial-methods/the-relationship-enhancement-model-and-the-10-re-skills/

Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) – https://www.deepbrainreorienting.com

DBR is an approach to healing trauma and especially attachment-based trauma. It was developed by Dr Frank Corrigan and is based on his neurophysiological work. The approach aims to heal the shock, horror and bodily residues of traumatic experiences and adverse interpersonal experiences. 

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – sfdbt.org

DBT is a therapy that was developed by the psychologist Marsha Linehan in the late 1980s. It is based on CBT but extends CBT principles to focus on several core components: emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal difficulties.

Dynamic Emotion-Focused therapy (DEFT) – iedta.net/edt/about-edt/types-of-edt/iedp/

DEFT was developed by Susan Warren Warshow. It is a psychodynamicpsycho­dynamic therapy that focuses on shame-sensitivity and the inhibitory nature of shame as a main difficulty for clients. The therapy uses the attunement and empathy of the therapist as a main vehicle through which clients can start to break through the walls of shame that keep them blocked. 

Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy (DIT) – https://www.bpc.org.uk/professionals/kite-mark-therapist/dit/

To practicse DIT therapists have to be already qualified and trained in psychodynamic therapy and have a number of hours of supervised practice. DIT and interpersonal therapy (IPT) are both used in NHS services, especially for clients who struggle with depression and for which CBT is not recommended or helpful. NICE guidelines recommend this therapy, along with CBT, couples therapy for depression and counselling for depression.

Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) – emdrassociation.org.uk

EMDR is a therapy that is recognized by NICE and the WHO as an effective therapy for trauma although it can be very effective with other difficulties also. It was developed by Francine Shapiro, a clinical psychologist who noticed that whilst she was thinking about something personally traumatic to her, her eyes were tracking side to side. Through the use of dual attention and bilateral stimulation (eye movements, music or tapping), the therapist aims to help the client reduce the overwhelming distress that some memories and feelings produce for clients. 

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) – eftinternational.org/about-us/about-eft-international-efti/

EFT has been considered a psychological form of acupuncture as it involves tapping meridian points on the body to alleviate psychological distress. It has been found to be as effective as CBT and EMDR in a recent meta-analysis and has been utilized within some NHS services. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27889444/

Emotion-Focused therapy (EFT) – https://www.iseft.org/What-is-EFT

Developed by Leslie Greenberg in the 1970s, EFT is a therapy that places our emotions at the heart of therapy. Therapists take an experiential, humanistic approach, gently guiding the client to be able to experience and understand their emotions and reactions. 

Emotionally- Focused Therapy (EFT) – iceeft.com/what-is-eft/

Emotionally- focused therapy was developed by Dr Sue Johnson originally as a couples therapy technique. It is an approach that utilizes attachment science research to focus on helping us develop better relationships. The approach is structured and time-limited and works on changing cycles of interaction that cause us difficulties.

Emotional Schema Therapy (EST) 

Emotional Schema Therapyschema therapy is a new technique within CBT that has been developed by Dr Robert Leahy.

Existential Psychotherapy – existentialanalysis.org.uk

Existential therapy takes a philosophical approach to therapy and incorporates wider questions about the human condition and what it means to be alive and how questions of meaning affect us individually. It was developed by Viktor Frankl, who also devised ‘logotherapy’, a type of existential therapy

Family Therapies

Attachment Narrative Therapy – aft.org.uk

Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) – ddpnetwork.org

Family & Systemic Psychotherapy – aft.org.uk

Family Constellation therapy – thecsc.net

Filial Therapy – nire.org

Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) – pcit.org

Relationship Enhancement Therapy – nire.org

Focalizing Therapy – https://www.theinstitute.org/what-is-focalizing

Developed by Dr Michael Picucci, ‘focalizing’ is a therapy that aims to help clients overcome blocks with the use of an intensive form of body-focused meditation along with specific exercises. 

Focusing -Oriented Therapy – https://www.focusingtherapy.org/for-clients

Focusing is a therapy technique that was developed by Eugene Gendlin. It involves turning one’s attention to the momentary ‘felt sense’ and inner knowing that one can have but find it hard to put into words.

Functional Analytic Psychotherapy (FAP) – societyforpsychotherapy.org/functional-analytic-psychotherapy-fap-using-awareness-courage-love-treatment

FAP is an integrative approach to therapy that uses the therapeutic relationship as the medium through which to see what is happening for the client and help them change patterns that are no longer working for them. It blends research from the areas of social-cognitive, behavioural and neuroscientific research.

Flash Technique – flashtechnique.com/wp/

The Flash technique was developed by Philip Manfield PhD. It is an addition to the standard EMDR protocol and a way to help clients whose traumatic memories are too painful to access.

Group Traumatic Episode Protocol (GTEP) and Recent Traumatic Episode Protocol (RTEP) – emdria.org

These protocols are used by EMDR practitioners for recent traumatic events as part of an early intervention strategy.

Gestalt therapy – gestaltcentre.org.uk

Gestalt as a therapy approach is an integrative psychotherapy that aims to help clients focus on the here and now and see how their patterns of relating to selfthemselves and others affects them holistically.

Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy – hakomiinstitute.com

‘Hakomi’ is a Hopi Indian word that broadly translates to ‘Who am I?’. This method of psychotherapy was developed by Ron Kurtz in the 1970s. It uses mindfulness and attuning to the body and emotions whilst uncovering and addressing core beliefs that keep us stuck.

Havening Technique – https://www.havening.org

The Havening technique was developed by Dr Ronald Ruden. It involves recalling a traumatic experience and using distract -and -soothe techniques to concurrently distract your awareness from the trauma and soothe and calm your system down. There are no randomized controlled trials of Havening to help us understand how it might compare to other trauma therapies as yet.

Holographic Memory Resolution – (HMR) –
https://www.healingdimensions.com/about/HMRDescription.htm

HMR is a technique developed by hypnotherapist and addiction therapist Brent Baum. It combines elements of hypnotherapy, energy healing, colour therapy and somatic psychology into a brief trauma-focused approach.

Human Givens aApproach – https://www.hgi.org.uk

The Human Givenshuman givens approach was developed in 1997 by a group of psychologists and psychotherapists who decided to research what actually works in psychotherapy and how to blend these factors into an effective therapy. Human Ggivens is a short-term, present-focused therapy that blends a variety of therapy techniques.

Humanistic Psychotherapy – ahpp.org.uk

Humanistic approaches to therapy such as person-centred therapy, client-centred therapy and Rogerian therapy focus on helping the individual to move towards their potential rather than seeing pathology and disorder. It is a non-directive therapy; the therapist allows the client to take the lead but provides the core conditions of warmth, empathy and unconditional positive regard within which self-healing can take place.

Hypnotherapy –-– https://www.cnhc.org.uk/hypnotherapy and see https://www.bscah.com

On the Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council’s website (link above) you can check if the hypnotherapist you are seeing is registered with them. With so many different types of hypnotherapy training available it is important that the practitioner you see is appropriately trained. Hypnotherapy as an approach has been found to be effective for many conditions. It aims to encourage a natural state of focus and relaxation from which to work through difficulties. 

Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) – https://www.internalfamilysystemstraining.co.uk

IFS therapy takes the position that we all have an undamaged, core, compassionate self that can be accessed, whilst also having other parts within us that protect us, defend us, or even act against our best interests sometimes. Therapy aims to access the central, core self and integrate the other parts of our system so that we are functioning from an integrated whole system.

Integral tTherapy – citintegral.com/integral-psychotherapy

An approach developed by the philosopher Ken Wilber that uses a five-element model that aims to bring together ideas from the main psychotherapy orientations into a ‘meta-orientation’.

Interpersonal therapy (IPT) – https://www.iptuk.net

IPT is a time-limited therapy that is used in the NHS for clients struggling with depression. It aims to help overcome relationship difficulties by seeing how these link with our mood.

Intensive Experiential-Dynamic Psychotherapy (IEDP) – iedta.net/edt/about-edt/types-of-edt/iedp

Developed by Ferruccio Osimo, IEDP was based on ISTDP, but places more emphasis on an exploration of the relationship between the therapist and patient.

Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP) – https://www.istdp.org.uk/about-istdp

Developed by the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Habib Davanloo in the late 1960s, this adaptation to traditional psychoanalysis aims to provide the benefits of psychoanalysis but in a shorter time frame, for example 40 hours rather than 250–600 hours.

Jungian Analysis – https://www.jungiananalysts.org.uk

A deep analytical psychotherapy formed from the work of Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist who was a contemporary of Sigmund Freud. Jungian analysis usually involves more than one session weekly and can invoclvude up to five sessions a week. It involves the gradual bringing into conscious awareness of deeper unconscious processes, sometimes with techniques such as dream journaling, art and music. Jungian analysts have to have previous experience in mental health prior to their advanced analytical training, which involves thrice -weekly personal therapy during their training.

Logotherapy – https://www.logotherapymap.com

Developed by Viktor Frankl as a form of existential analysis. ‘Logos’ comes , logotherapy (from logos, the Greek word for ‘Meaning’. Logotherapymeaning’) is a therapy that focuses on individual responsibility and finding ones true meaning and reason for living by looking at the things that block you from achieving this. 

Meta Cognitive Therapy (MCT) – mct-institute.co.uk/treatment-advice

MCT was developed by Dr Adrian Wells and Dr Hans Nordahl and grew out of traditional CBT. It has been found to be effective for depression and anxiety and aims to work on the beliefs that keep people in a state of repetitive worry and rumination.

Mentaliszation-Based Treatment (MBT) – https://www.bpc.org.uk/professionals/kite-mark-therapist

MBT is an attachment-focused therapy that can be carried out either individually or in a group setting. It aims to help people understand their own thoughts, feelings, impulses and behaviours, and alsoas well as those of other people, in order to improve relationships.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) – https://www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness/mcb.php.en

MBCT is a blend of the mindfulness work of Jon Kabat-Zinn and the cognitive science and psychotherapeutic work of Zindel Segal, Mark Williams and John Teasdale. It has been shown to be effective for depression as well as a range of other issues.

Narrative Therapy – https://www.theinstituteofnarrativetherapy.com

Narrative therapy was developed by David Epston and Michael White. It is an approach that considers us within our sociocultural and familial context as well as the differing contexts which make up our identity. The approach focuses on helping us to ‘re-author’ our stories.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) – anlp.org

NLP has been around since the 1970s and it is an approach which aims to helpshow us understand how we use language to understand ourselves and the world around us. Within the approach there are a range of techniques that can be used to help change the way that youwe think and perceive.

Personality-Guided Relational Therapy (PGRT) – iedta.net/edt/about-edt/types-of-edt/personality-guided-relational-therapy

A form of psychodynamic therapy developed by Jeffrey J. Magnavita that focuses on the processes and conflicts within four subsystems of personality: biological-intrapsychic, interpersonal-dyadic, relational-triadic, and sociocultural-familial.

Positive Psychotherapy – (PPT) – https://www.positum.org

PPT is a short-term therapy that blends psychodynamic, transculturaltrans­cultural, CBT and humanistic approaches. It was developed in 1968 in Germany in 1968 by Nossrat Peseschkian and hasis based on three principles on which therapy is based: Hope, Balance, Consultation.

Psychoanalytical Psychotherapy – psychoanalytic-council.org

Psychoanalytical therapy is an in-depth therapy that usually takes place more than once weekly for a year or more. The psychoanalytical therapist will create an empathic but neutral relationship space for the client’s unconscious patterns to come into conscious awareness. Psychoanalytical therapy was developed by Sigmund Freud.

Psychodrama – https://www.psychodrama.org.uk/index.php

Developed by the psychiatrist Jacob Levy Moreno in the 1920s, psychodrama is an approach that uses dramatic action and role play within a group therapy setting to bring issues into 3D space so that they can be worked through.

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (PPT) – psychoanalytic-council.org

Psychodynamic therapy uses the same principles as psychoanalytical therapy but it tends to be briefer and can be utiliszed either as an individual therapy or as part of group or couple therapy.

Psycho-Organic Analysis (POA) – https://www.europsyche.org/approaches/psycho-organic-analysis

POA was developed in 1975 by Paul Boyesoen. It is a blend of psychoanalytic theory in combination withand body psychotherapy. 

Psychosexual Psychotherapy – https://www.cosrt.org.uk/psychosexual-therapy

Psychosexual therapists are usually trained not only in counselling and psychotherapy but in anatomy, physiology and pharmacology. This type of therapy blends the physical with the psychological in order to help clients in a highly specialized way.

Psychosynthesis – psychosynthesistrust.org.uk

Psychosynthesis therapy was developed by Dr Roberto Assagioli as an extension of his psychoanalytical training in the early 1900s. Dr Assagioli was influenced by theology and philosophy and this therapy aims to bring these extra dimensions into therapy. Psychosynthesis aims to incorporate the spiritual aspects of ourselves into therapy. It posits that we are many parts and that some of these parts have been repressed or denied. Therapy aims to help us get in touch with these lost parts of ourselves and become an integrated whole.

Reality Therapy (RT) – https://www.wgi-uk.co.uk

Reality therapy is a counselling method that is based on William Glasser’s ‘choice theory’. The method focuses on how to fulfil our various needs within the context of maintaining healthy relationships with those around us.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) – https://www.arebt.one

Developed in 1955 by Albert Ellis, a clinical psychologist who initially trained in psychoanalysis., REBT can be thought of as the first cognitive-behavioural therapy and was a strong influence on Aaron Beck’s development of cognitive Ttherapy. In REBT the work involves targeting unhelpful beliefs that can influence our behaviour. For example, ‘I’m useless’ can be a belief that people feel about themselves deep down, and so they try to avoid feeling this, yet some situations can activate this feeling and cause difficulties for the person.

Redecision Therapy – theberne.com/redecision-therapy-training

A blend of transactional analysis and Gestalt therapy developed by Mary and Robert Goulding. It aims to help clients change the core messages that they may be carrying with them from childhood.

Regression Therapy – https://www.ibrt.org

Regression therapy is typically is a blend of psychoanalysis and hypnotherapy. The main principles of the approach areis that there are several core layers to our consciousness and therapy aims to help the person uncover the influence of past experiences. Some therapists look at past ‘lives’, but not all regression therapists include this as part of their practice.

Rewind Technique – https://www.humangivens.com/college/rewind-technique-training

The ‘Rewind Technique’ rewind technique’ was originally called the ‘visual-kinesthetic dissociation technique’ and was a technique used in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). It was later developed into a protocol for treating trauma memories by Human Givens therapists Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell. 

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) – rtt.com/whatisrtt

RTT was developed by Marissa Peer and is a brief approach which utilizes specific strategies from CBT, hypnotherapy and other psychotherapy approaches to provide a way of understanding the meaning and interpretation of client difficulties and help them effect change.

Schema Therapy – schematherapysociety.org

Schema therapy was developed by Jeffrey Young and was a development of his work with Aaron Beck, the founder of cognitive therapy. Young saw that for some clients, the cognitive therapy model needed to go further in helping them with what he later termed ‘maladaptive early schemas’ – what would be called ‘core beliefs’ in CBT. Young focused on these schemas and discovered ways of helping clients understand how these core schemas affected their lives and led to certain coping styles. Schema therapy has become a recognized method for helping clients with longstanding difficulties. Practitioners need to be registered psychotherapists at Masters/Doctoralmaster’s/doctoral level in order to train as Sschema therapists.

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) – ukasfp.org

SFBT (also called Solution-Focused Practicesolution-focused practice, as it is used in many settings, for examplesuch as in coaching and business) grew out of the work of Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg at the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee in the 1980s. It is an approach that focuses on what is going right for you and how to harness this to achieve your goals.

Somatic experiencing – See ‘Body Psychotherapyies’

Sophrology – https://www.sophroacademy.co.uk

Sophrology is a self-help method where the focus is on certain ‘dynamic relaxation’ methods to help produce feelings of calmness, focus and relaxation.

Sensorimotor therapy – See ‘Body Psychotherapyies’

Systemic Psychotherapy – See ‘Family Therapyies’

Tara Rokpa Therapy – https://www.tararokpa.org/therapy/about/index.php

An approach that blends Western psychotherapy approaches to the mind with Buddhist traditions. It was developed by Akong Tulku Rinpoche over 30thirty years ago. The Tara Rokpa association is an accrediting member of UKCP.

Transactional Analysis (TA) – https://www.uktransactionalanalysis.co.uk and theberne.com

Transactional Aanalysis was developed by Eric Berne in the 1950s as a way of understanding personality and the interactions between people. AOne of its main ideas is that we have three core ego states: Parent, Adult, and Child, and that these show themselves in our communication patterns.

Theraplay – https://www.wp.theraplay.org/uk/for-parents

Theraplay is a child and family therapy that focuses on the parent-child interaction and helps to create positive change within this relationship for both parties.

Thought Field Therapy (TFT) – https://www.thoughtfieldtherapy.co.uk

TFT is a tapping technique similar to EFT but uses a more involved set of steps and algorithms in its process.

Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) – istfp.org

This approach is an adapted form of psychoanalysis which is used in the treatment of borderline personality disorder.

Transpersonal Psychotherapy – https://www.transpersonalcentre.co.uk/index.php/transpersonal-psychology

Transpersonal therapy aims to help us not only to understand not only our psychological struggles and reach a state of psychological health, but also to embrace and explore our spiritual self and the wider spiritual context within which our different states of consciousness operate.

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (TF-CBT) – tfcbt.org/about-tfcbt

TF-CBT is a specific evidence-based protocol that was designed to be used with children and young people in association with their parents.

Data and security are of course not the only indicators of whether these sites are going to offer you a good user experience, so you may wish to assess each according to your own individual criteria. The website Very Well Mind has put together a useful list of how they assess online therapy. It refers to US sites but many of the questions could be easily adapted to UK sites also. Have a look at it here: www.verywellmind.com/online-therapy-review-methodology-4777996.

LIST OF INDEPENDENT DIRECTORIES WHERE YOU CAN FIND A THERAPIST IN THE UK

The Black, African and Asian Therapy Network – www.baatn.org.uk
BAATN, BAATN 11216, PO Box 6945, London, W1A 6US
BAATN is a social enterprise that operates a directory where users can find therapists with BAME heritage.

BetterHelp – www.betterhelp.com
BetterHelp, 990 Villa Street, Mountain View, CA 94041, USA
This site asks many questions before you can search for a therapist. I did not complete the questionnaire and was not on their website for very long, yet I was subsequently presented with adverts on Facebook for BetterHelp for several days after that one visit to the website. This is called ‘remarketing,’ and many websites do this, but I found it a bit annoying and a little intrusive. I prefer to access a therapy website in confidence.

CBT Pages – www.cbtpages.com
Think CBT Ltd
CBT Pages is a directory that lists accredited CBT therapists. On the site, you can search for and book a session with the therapist of your choice.

Choice Therapies – www.choicetherapies.co.uk
Choice Therapies LLP, 55 Queen Square, Bristol, BS1 4LH
Choice Therapies is a new directory that offers a range of both counselling and holistic therapies.

Counselling Directory – www.counselling-directory.org.uk
Memiah Limited, Counselling Directory, Building 3, Riverside Way, Camberley, Surrey, GU15 3YL
Counselling Directory was set up in 2005 and is one of several directories operated by Memiah Limited. The site lists counsellors and psychotherapists that you can search for and then contact directly. There are also helpful articles on the site to help you with your search and support you with information to make it easier to find the therapist for you. Memiah also operates the magazine Happiful.

Counsellor Directory – counsellor.directory
Counsellor Directory is a website that was set up in 2008. It has a ‘Social Enterprise Initiative’ badge on the homepage and states that it operates on a ‘pay what you can’ basis for counsellors who offer low-cost therapy. I could not find the company name, address or telephone number on the website at the time of searching.

Culture Minds Therapy – culturemindstherapy.com
CultureMinds Therapy Ltd, 1 Royal Street, London SE1 7LL
Set up in October 2020, this site states it is the ‘UK’s leading therapist-matching service for the Black and Asian community’.

Dr Julian – dr-julian.com
Dr Julian Medical Group, 21 Portman Close, London W1H 6BR
Dr Julian is a website platform where you can find and book a video therapy appointment with a therapist of your choice. It was set up in 2017 by Dr Julian Nesbitt, ex-hospital doctor and now GP.

Efficacy (Now ‘Onebright’) – www.efficacy.org.uk
Efficacy Limited, 54-55 Cornhill, London EC3V 3PD
Efficacy offers CBT appointments at short notice, either by video or phone. They also offer EMDR and an online CBT program using SilverCloud.

E Therapy – www.e-therapy.uk
E-Therapy Limited Telehealth solutions offers a video platform through which you can book and have a session with either a nutritional or psy- chological therapist. I accessed the site from the UK, and it does offer UK therapists. I could not see a contact name or address on the day I accessed the page.

Find a therapist – www.findatherapist.co.uk

Findatherapist.co.uk Ltd, SBC House, Restmor Way, Wallington SM6 7AH

Findatherapist.co.uk was formerly known as rscpp.co.uk. It is run by therapist Richard Snowdon, and computer-science postgraduate Tommy Newman. The site lists only therapists registered and accredited by the BABCP, BACP, BPC, BPS, COSRT, HCPC, NCS and UKCP. It has a

helpful self-assessment tool on there, as well as a link to which therapies are recommended by NICE for which conditions. There are also reviews of the therapists, so you can see what previous clients have said.

Find a Therapist – www.findatherapist.com

US only.

Find a Therapy – www.findatherapy.org

Find a Private Tutor Ltd, Regency House, 3 Princes Street, Bath BA1 1HL

The introductory video on this site states that they are one of the UK’s leading directories of complementary therapies, but they also list psycho- therapists and counsellors.

Harley Therapy – harleytherapy.com

Harley Therapy Platform Ltd and Harley Therapy Limited, 1-7 Harley Street, London W1G 9QD

A site that allows you to find and book a therapy session with a UK-registered counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist. Sessions can be either video, phone, chat or in-person. The site has vetted the therapists it lists on the platform and assures they have the appropriate insurance, qualifications and accreditation. Harley Therapy has access to the immediate availability of its therapists, so you can see who is immediately available if you want to see someone fast.

Healing Clouds – www.healingclouds.com/about-us

Healing Clouds Ltd, 71-75 Shelton Street, Covent Garden, London WC2H 9JQ

This site is listed as a site linking clients with therapists worldwide for online therapy sessions.

Hub of Hope – hubofhope.co.uk

Chasing the Stigma, 54 St James Street Liverpool L1 0AB and Suite 2a, Cunard Building, Water St, Liverpool L3 1AH

The Hub of Hope is a directory of mental health services and support that is provided by the organization Chasing the Stigma, a charity based in the UK.

Ieso Online CBT – www.iesohealth.com

Ieso Digital Health Ltd, The Jeffreys Building, Cowley Road, Cambridge CB4 0DS

Ieso (previously known as Psychology Online), provides online text-based CBT that is free for NHS patients in most of the UK. They also offer their services to private clients too.

Inquire Talk – inquiretalk.com

Inquire Talk Ltd, 20-22 Wenlock Road, London N1 7GU (same address as ISOS Health)

A directory that offers counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists who provide online therapy. You can choose a therapist, see their availability and book your session on the website. Sessions can be either via video, text or phone, as well as face-to-face (where appropriate). The site lists therapists as ‘licensed’ or ‘certified’ rather than as ‘registered’ or ‘accred- ited’. The latter terms being familiar to therapists in the UK, whereas the former are terms used for US therapists.

ISOS – isoshealth.com/about-us

Chrysalis Health Ltd, 20 – 22 Wenlock Road, London N1 7GU

ISOS Health was setup by Kim Page, a mum, carer and sufferer of Type 1 diabetes and coeliac disease who wanted to help people get easy access to dieticians, physiotherapists and psychologists. On the site you can choose to have sessions with all three different practitioners who together work as your ‘power of three’ team and can share information between each other.

Muslim Counsellor and Psychotherapist Network (MCAPN) – www.mcapn.co.uk/counselling-directory

A directory for clients to find support from Muslim therapists, and for therapists to list their profiles and support and network with each other.

MYNDUP – myndup.com

MYNDUP Ltd, 44 Tempest Mead, North Weald, Essex CM16 6DY

Founded by Joel Gujral following his positive experiences with an online life coach, Myndup offers a platform where you can book video sessions with a therapist or life coach.

My Online Therapy – myonlinetherapy.com

Lekta Therapy Ltd, 2 Lansdowne Row, Suite 163, London, W1J 6HL and Lekta Therapy Ltd, Second Floor, 4-5 Gough Square, London EC4A 3DE

My Online Therapy is a new site that offers online therapy with HCPC registered psychologists.

My Therapist Online – www.mytherapistonline.co.uk

My Therapist Online Limited, 38 West Street, Helpston, Peterborough PE6 7AY

My Therapist Online was set up by BABCP accredited CBT therapist Lisa Johnston and her husband Keith.

Oliva – www.oliva.house

A website that offers to match you with the right therapist after you com- plete a questionnaire. The site appears to cater to UK and Spain, though I could not find a company address when I looked.

Onebright (See ‘Efficacy’)

Online Counselling Service (OCS) – www.onlinecounsellingservice.co.uk

The site states that it offers worldwide 24-hour online and telephone therapy. OCS was founded in 2008 by psychological therapist Faith McMoyo. OCS offers therapy by either email, instant message, telephone or Skype.

Online Therapy – www.online-therapy.com

CRN Solutions AB, Bruksgatan 36, 26339 Höganäs, Sweden

Online Therapy offers a subscription-based online CBT model. There is a free version with worksheets and an online CBT programme, or you can pay between £23.96 and £55.96 for a service that includes daily messaging with a therapist and 1–2 weekly live sessions with a therapist.

Online Therapy 247 – onlinetherapy247.com

Online Therapy 247 Ltd, 23 Horizon Building, 15 Hertsmere Road, Canary Wharf, London E14 4AW

Online Therapy 247 allows you to choose a therapist and then arrange either telephone, email or Zoom therapy instantly (therapists available 24 hours a day).

Optimind.io

Optimind, Buckingham Palace Street, London SW1E

The site has a limited number of therapists available to provide video and phone therapy. Prior to COVID-19, the service involved face-to-face therapy in two locations: London and Suffolk.

Pink Therapy – www.pinktherapy.com

Pink Therapy, BCM 5159 London WC1N 3XX

This site states it is the ‘UK’s largest independent therapy organization working with gender and sexual diversity clients’. You can search for a therapist on the site who has completed training and/or had experience that enables them to offer therapy in a sexuality-affirming way. Pink Therapy also offers training and accreditation to therapists interested in working with LGBTIQ clients.

Problem Shared – www.problemshared.net

Teledoctor Ltd, 2 Frederick Street, London WC1X 0ND

A new online platform set up by Dr Nick Nabarro where you can find and book a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist.

Psychology Today – www.psychologytoday.com/gb

Sussex Publishers, LLC, 115 E. 23rd St., 9th Floor, New York, NY 10010, USA

This is perhaps the most well known of all the directories available. It is international so you can search by country as well as by county or city. The site lists the profiles of therapists who have been verified, and you contact the therapist via the phone number or email address on their listing.

Qwell – www.qwell.io

Kooth plc, The Epworth, 25 City Road, London EC1Y 1AA

Qwell is part of Kooth plc and aims to provide you with a support com- munity and self-help information, and connects you with therapists you can access for therapy.

The School of Life – www.theschooloflife.com/shop/ psychotherapy

Campus Group LLP, 70 Marchmont Street, London, WC1N 1AB

On the School of Life website you can book a psychotherapy session with one of their therapists. Sessions have to be paid for first in advance, and you are then contacted within a week by a therapist who has availability.

Skype Therapies – www.skypetherapies.co.uk

Skype Therapies was established by a counselling psychologist and CBT therapist with the aim of connecting clients to therapists online. It has been operating since 2014 and offers UK-based therapists to clients around the globe. You can search for a therapist and then contact them via the site. Update August 2022 – Skype Therapies no longer available.

Stillpoint Spaces – www.stillpointspaces.com

Stillpoint Zürich GmbH, Privacy & Data Protection, Schanzeneggstrasse 1, 8002 Zurich, Switzerland.

Stillpoint Spaces lists therapists worldwide but also has four physical loca- tions in London, Berlin, Paris and Zurich. You can book and have your session with your chosen therapist using the site’s video platform.

Support Room – www.supportroom.com

My Therapist Online Ltd, 20–22 Wenlock Road, London N1 7GU (same address as Inquiretalk and ISOS Health)

A website where you can search worldwide for therapists who provide online therapy via video call or instant chat. Potential clients can complete an initial questionnaire and then be matched to three therapists they can then choose from to book their session with. The session is carried out within a private instant chat or video chat room.

Talkspace – www.talkspace.com

Talkspace Network LLC, 33 W 60th Street, 8th Fl, New York, NY 10023, USA

Talkspace operates a subscription model where you can choose to chat via instant message to a therapist at any time and add on video calls to the package as well. You cannot view the therapists available until you complete a matching questionnaire, so it wasn’t clear if there were therapists available in the UK.

Therapion – www.therapion.com

Therapion Consulting’s website offers therapists from several different countries. You can find and book a therapist on the site for either email, phone, video or instant chat therapy.

Therapycounselling.org

A site that lists counsellors and therapists in the UK. I could not find a company name or address listed on the site. In the privacy policy section, it states that the site does not hold any personal information, and the privacy policy refers to the individual counsellors only.

Therapy Route – therapyroute.com

Therapy Route PTY Ltd’s site offers a portal where therapists can list their profiles for clients to choose from. There are also articles written by the therapists on the site or guest bloggers. The site is run by Enzo Sinisi, a psychotherapist based in South Africa.

Therapy Tribe – www.therapytribe.com

Web Tribes Inc. 1055 Quartz Ct, Ste. B, San Marcos, CA 92078, USA

Therapy tribe has been operating an online support community since 2006 and now offers the ability to find a therapist on their site. It was set up by husband and wife Ryan and Kristin Fitzgerald.

Therapology – www.therapology.io

Therapologies Limited, Brulimar House, Jubilee Road, Manchester M24 4LX

Therapology is a new site that had just appeared as I wrote this. Although I could not view the app, the website stated, ‘Therapology is an exciting new app that enables anyone with internet to connect rapidly with thera- pists in the UK and book online or face-to-face appointments, typically within the hour.’

Think CBT – thinkcbt.com

Think CBT originally offered face-to-face therapy in London and Kent, but now lists accredited CBT and EMDR therapists across the UK who provide online therapy. Think CBT also runs the cbtpages.com website.

Timewith – timewith.co.uk

Timewith Limited, 12 Constance Street, London E16 2DQ

Timewith was launched in July 2017 and offers to match you with a therapist who is right for you. The site offers a helpful step-by-step guide to therapy and a care coordinator function, where you can answer some initial questions to help you get a feel for which therapist might be right for you.

The site tells you when your chosen therapist is available, and you can book directly on the site. All their therapists are registered with established registration bodies.

UKTherapyGuide – www.uktherapyguide.com

UKTG has been operating since 2012 and aims to match you to a therapist and allow you to book and pay for your session on their website. It men- tions capping the number of therapists at 250, so as to make the choice more manageable for clients, and for therapists not to be lost in a crowd.

UK Therapy Hub – www.uktherapyhub.co.uk

Private Practice Hub Limited, 4th Floor, Silverstream House, 45 Fitzroy Street, London W1T 6EB

UK Therapy Hub is operated by the people behind the Private Practice Hub. It was set up by psychotherapist Geoff Simons. There is a ‘Find a therapist’ tab, as well as a ‘Find an online therapist’ tab, and I received a different list of therapists when I used the same search term in both.

UppTherapy – upptherapy.com

Upp Therapy Ltd, 109 Colne Road, Twickenham TW2 6QL

An online video therapy platform where you can find and book therapists and coaches. The service was set up by Richard Reid (from Pinnacle Wellbeing) and Mike Tapia.

Victim Focus – victimfocus.org.uk

Dr Jessica Taylor is a psychologist and advocate for non-blaming, non-shaming treatment in mental health. On her website she has a list of therapists who have signed up to her approach to mental health and pledge to be trauma-informed, woman-centred, radical feminist, anti- victim-blaming and anti-pathologizing. Contact can be made with the therapists directly, so the site is not a directory platform like the others in this list.

We are Kiku – www.wearekiku.com

Sixteen Eighty Limited, 49 Myrtle Grove, Newcastle upon Tyne NE2 3HT

Kiku is a directory of therapists that offers a one-stop shop for you to find, book and contact your therapist using the site. There is a secure messaging service, and you can see the therapist with availability matching yours.

Welldoing – welldoing.org

Welldoing Ltd, Canterbury House, 1 Royal Street, London SE1 7LL

Welldoing has been in operation since 2014 and states it is the UK’s leading directory for online and in-person therapists. You can search for a therapist yourself using a postcode, or you can answer a short question- naire to be matched with a therapist. There is also a more personalized matching service, and there is a charge for this. On the site there is also a helpful resource section with articles and mental health resources and links to approved apps.

Well Minds Online (WellMinds Online CIC) – wellmindsonline.com

Provides access to low-cost counselling via student and qualified counsellors.

LIST OF INDEPENDENT DIRECTORIES WHERE YOU CAN FIND A THERAPIST INTERNATIONALLY

Amwell – amwell.com/cm/services/online-therapy/ Betterhelp – betterhelp.com

Chinese Counseling – directory.chinesecounseling.org/en Counselling Online – www.counsellingonline.ie

Good Therapy – goodtherapy.com Good Therapy Australia –

www.goodtherapy.com.au/flex/online-therapy/908/1 MDLive – www.mdlive.com/counseling

Teladoc – www.teladoc.com

Psychology Today – psychologytoday.com Stillpoint Spaces – www.stillpointspaces.comTalkspace – www.talkspace.com

Therapyden – www.therapyden.com Therapy Tribe – www.therapytribe.com

Press the play button in the centre of the image below, or play the audio version only at the bottom of the screen.

Audio only version:

Before you do the breathing technique, give yourself a rating from 0 – 10 (where ‘0’ is completely relaxed, and ’10’ is panicked). Then, do the breathing exercise for at least a minute, then give yourself a rating again. There will usually be a small shift, and it can be in either direction because exercises like this can be uncomfortable for some of us at first.

What causes this shift and what happens in the body when we do this exercise?

Dr Stephen Porges described how our nervous systems have three parts to them, the sympathetic (which mobilises us for action, and also instigates the fight/flight response when danger is perceived); and then the parasympathetic which governs both our feeling of connection and safety, and also our ‘shutdown’ response when overwhelmed or trapped. The parasympathetic has two branches: ventral vagal (connection, soothing, engagement), and dorsal vagal (freeze, shutdown, protection). 

Our nervous systems go on quite a journey through each day, from feeling activated and mobilised for action to feeling engaged and connected, to feeling relaxed and content. But events can happen in a day that take us into a highly activated state (another driver tailgating you for example), and this activated state will be felt by us in our bodies and in our thoughts.

When we mindfully breathe slowly we pause this activated sympathetic nervous system activity to remind our nervous systems that we are safe, there is no danger that needs attending to right now. This helps to activate the ventral vagal parasympathetic part of the nervous system – the part that calms us down So this is why we can start to feel calmer when we do slow breathing. But depending on how alert/activated/annoyed/frightened we are, it might take a while to help us to actually feel ‘calm’.